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It - cranky old man - 08-21-2017

I am completely on my own now. I blame myself for the young lads death. I should have watched him closer.
I should have trained him to be more careful. I should have done a lot of things different but nothing can change the fact that that kids death is on me.
I am a lone wolf. I don't get close to anyone and I keep away from people. Some times I see survivors moving in the cities or out in the woods or open fields but I keep them all at a distance. I don't want anything to do with any of them the best thing for me is to stay solo and survive.
There is no need for me to try to help when I see bandits robbing and killing others. I refuse to get involved. 
I had a couple of Fools try to hold me up yesterday
now their bodies lay in downtown Chero rotting on the ground.
I have seen some of the people who I have encountered in the past but I keep my distance.
I don't think they even knew I was in the same area as they were. 
The farming I do is only to help me. I take what I am going to use and leave the rest to spoil in the ground.
I was attacked by wolves on my way to north from Berezino. I was just South of Severograd. 
I barely made it into a gypse caravan in time before I was surrounded by 15 or so snarling beasts.
I made quick work of the 3 strongest in the pack and the rest ran off yelping into the forest.
I took the pelts and some of the meat and bones and left the rest behind. I only take what I can carry.
Staying mobile is easy. There is nothing to try to hide from other survivors.
I mostly stay in the cities now, sleeping in the top floors of abandoned buildings.
I stay quiet and see and hear all kind of other folks mostly traveling in groups of 3-4 with an occasional loner every now and then.
I saw and heard a group of what looked like teenagers.
They passed right by me and didn't even notice I was a couple of feet from them.
I just stayed quiet and let them go on their way.
This life I have chosen is all I have left and I will try to stay alive for as long as I can.
I have to admit I am tired just tired of it all.
I am not sure how much longer I can take this but I will hang in there.
It has to get better sometime right?